Although the tongue weighs very little, very few people are able to hold it. -Anonymous

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I don't believe in waiting for missionaries.
I found out (too late) that he does.

Is it ever appropriate to broach this subject with a missionary for the purpose of clarification? If so, what would be the gentlest way to do so? Or would it just be better to live my life and let him find out through the grapevine if I end up dating someone else?

Any advice from returned-elders would be much appreciated. How could/should I go about letting him know that we might have different conceptions of our friendship?

I'm really kicking myself for not making this clear 11 mos. ago.



Dear borders,

Most of why you wouldn't want to tell your missionary you're not waiting for him would be to prevent him from becoming distracted, but honestly, it sounds like he's already there. So feel free to send him an email telling him you plan on living your life while he's working if you'd like. I don't think you need to bother, personally. If you never gave him an indication that you planned on putting your dating life on hold for two years while he was away, then you're free and clear in my book. Go on dates and enjoy life. If he flips out because you don't tell him that you're spending time with people who aren't him, well, he's probably not your ideal match, is he?

These situations, as I'm fond of saying, are exactly as awkward as we choose to make them.

- D.A.R.E.