Dear 100 Hour Board,
I really like this guy. He's in one of my classes with me, and we sit together every day. I've liked him since the first time I met him at the beginning of the semester, and I'm just now starting to think that maybe he likes me too. The problem is, I only see him during class (due to my extreme shyness, asking to see him outside of class is out of the question). The bigger problem is that I only have 3 more classes with him. And the biggest problem (which is only a problem in my own selfish desires) is that he's leaving on his mission at the end of the semester. So I guess my question is, where do I go from here? Should I do something about my feelings, or should I just give it up and try to accept the fact that I may not get to see him again? (Which would be hard, because I like him a LOT.)
-Bitten by the love bug
Either get past your shyness and ask to see him outside of class or just totally forget about him. The only other option is to feel miserable because of unrequited love.
-yayfulness, formerly shy
Dear love bug,
Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, Zedability was really shy around guys she liked. And one day, she met a guy who seemed completely perfect for her, and she was smitten. The only problem was, they had no mutual friends, classes, or any reason to see each other again. So Zedability went out of her comfort zone, for a pre-missionary she barely knew, and it was the best decision she ever made.
Do you want to know how I got up the courage to go out of my comfort zone? I realized that M was important enough to me that giving up was just not justified. Maybe going out of my comfort zone would be awkward and embarrassing and lead to nothing, but I knew that if I didn't try, I would miss out on the potential for something amazing, and I would deeply regret it. So ask yourself - how much do you like this guy? How important is he to you, really? Because if he's really important to you, you'll be willing to do something difficult for you in order to make it happen.
At the same time, you guys don't really have any time to start a relationship even if you both spontaneously confessed your interest, and pre-mission relationships are statistically unlikely to work out, distracting on the guy's end, and pretty difficult on the girl's end as well. I don't know the situation, and while my own life tends to bias me towards being hopeful for you two, there's also a lot to be said in this situation for just writing him as a friend and waiting until he gets back before you try to move beyond that. If you still had another semester to go before he left, I'd say go for it, but as it is, focus on building a good friendship for the time being.
In fact, now that I'm done typing all that out, I'd have to solidly go with my last paragraph of advice. Just be friends for now, but if you decide it's important to you, go outside your comfort zone to strengthen your friendship.
Consider just how deeply you want to dig yourself into that hole of pre-missionary-crush, keeping in mind that the sooner you can climb out, the easier it'll be. Since he's going on a mission at the end of the semester, you're not going to see him for a while regardless of whether or not you can accept it. If you feel that you can handle the emotional strain of a continuing crush, go for it, by all means. Personally, however, I think it'd be best to plant your feet firmly in a self-imposed friendzone. Based solely on the short time frame, that seems like the most reasonable option for both of you.
-The Entropy Ninja, venturing cautiously into the mysterious realm of relationship advice
Dear bug head,
Okay, I'm going to give you advice beyond the black-and-white, vomitrociously nasty, and cautious advice given by my colleagues above me. It is advice that I say all of the time and none of you ever listen.
Every single person: stop feeling sorry for yourself and start finding ways to put your mouth on the mouths of people who you think are cute.
Let me apply this advice in your case. You think that class-dude-guy is cute. Class-dude-guy is leaving soon. You have a small window of time to find a way to put your mouth all up on his.
Make it happen and maybe you'll stop worrying about your future with him. Maybe you'll get married. Great! Maybe he'll go on a mission and you'll forget to write him for six months and you'll forget that he even existed because the next semester you sit next to an even cuter dude. Great! Maybe he'll preach so hard on his mission that his whole body combusts and he'll be changed in the twinkling of an eye and marry a Babe McBabe on the other side of the veil with his newly resurrected bod. Fantastic! At least when you guys legitimately liked each other, you were able to share some saliva. That's a victory.