Whenever he thought about it, he felt terrible. And so, at last, he came to a fateful decision. He decided not to think about it. ~John-Roger and Peter McWilliams
Question #79428 posted on 10/09/2014 7:26 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How can I get better at forgiving? It's easy for me to forgive if I can talk/hug it out with whoever wronged me and get some closure. But that is not always possible. So how can I get better at forgiving people who think their hurtful behavior is ok?

-May B


Dear May,

For me, this comes only by the Spirit. Recently I have tried to be much less judgmental. It is easier for me when I try to put myself in someone else's shoes. I try to consider the fact that this person may have been raised differently, may have a different view of the situation, or may be scared or weak. They may not have the same strong testimony of the Gospel or of a specific commandment. They may not consider what he or she is doing to be wrong or bad. Or they may really want to stop but lack the strength or support to do so.

I have found that by erasing judgement from my mind, in turn I forgive others more easily. People will always say and do things that I don't agree with and sometimes that hurt me specifically. Despite this I find peace in forgiving and not holding a grudge. It's one of those things that I have simply decided to do, and I honestly feel that I do quite well with this. It's completely a decision on your part, and you can decide right now to forgive. You can pray for the Spirit to soften your heart and erase the judgments and anger that you have in your mind. And then, even if you don't have the chance to talk in person with the person you are forgiving, you will be able to approach the Lord with confidence that you have no ill feelings toward any man.

I would suggest that you read the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). It has many profound messages of repentance and forgiveness. In the end, it is a commandment to forgive others. But, it is also a choice. If you truly desire to forgive those who have wronged you then you can choose to. Pray for help forgiving, pray to be less judgmental, and pray "for those who despitefully use you." I know the Lord will answer these prayers and help you to truly forgive.