"I like fiery passion, actually." - Olympus
Question #92296 posted on 06/06/2019 10:24 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board Linguists,

What makes CATS sound like CATS?

-Sheebs

A:

How are you Sheebs!!

It can lucky best shining day for you, because CATS can both linguist and CATS!

From CATS-ward, it will obvious. CATS can CATS because impressive military lineage. All your base have belong to CATS since 13 generations. What you say? It is AD 2101 and war was beginning? It can, but please remamber that it has been impressive since Meiji era. It has always been great and loyal, but state Shinto. You know what you doing, General Tojo. It will not betray. It can always with respect.

But this cannot your only question, Sheebs. You want to set up the Engrish. And it will! Come and dance with CATS.

You can understanding that CATS origins are Japan. This is most basic and fundamental point. And Japanese and English are different. They cannot even a single point. There is not article in Japanese. So it will not sound. Can you tell? Without "set up the bomb," it will not article. You can trying!!

Japanese also is different alphabet, so it will not become English so easily. There are not consecutive consonants? Think about word like "samurai," or "karaoke," or even "moushi wake gozaimasen." (Sh sound is one consonant in Japanese. But this is so obvious!! You are not idiot.) They can only follow consonants and vowels. So combining sounds is a trial. They do not know how to do! So it can confuse, and lead to "do not bleash when washing" or "please remamber that it has been impressive." They do not know where to a letter.

But you know what you doing. You know that L and R can interchange. They are same. So light and right become confuse, and also "prease to meet you." This is biggest flustration for Jampanese, of course.

Most importrantly is that Japan does not know what an English even is, so they use thesaurus. It is like when most high schoolry tries to sound smart, so it can look up every word and instread of "This is a pen" it will be "This is an incarceration unit." But it is pen, not penitentiary! They have set themselves up the bomb without knowing! Fools!!

There are other factors, like increased use of volitional tense, or verb and adverb reliance, or even just pragmatics. But main screen turn on, Sheeble. Do not be blind. Be as wise as ten CATS. You are reading, and now you know what you doing. You can sound like greatest CATS with these tips! But do not try to impostrate, or war will beginning. There can only one CATS.

Ha Ha Ha Ha...

-CATS