Dear 100 Hour Board,
What kind of friends do you have? Who is a friend you're still friends with after years, and why? I'm just curious about 'where' people's best friends come from. Basically are they from childhood and growing up together? Or are the majority from college and so on? Also, please don't say your spouse or bf/gf is your best friend. I believe you, but am more interested in 'actual friends'.
-Just wanting to stalk you and everyone you know
The friends I currently spend the most time with are people from my program. I have been friends with two of them for over three years now, though it feels like we have known each other for far longer. We have been bonded together in the crucible of graduate school. We text or see each other pretty much every day. I have a couple of other good friends I have met at work and school over the past few years as well. I text them on their birthdays or if I see something that really reminds me of them, but not super often. Sometimes we do fun things like go out for ice cream.
I'm still friends with one of my best friends from high school. We were both class clown types so often paired up for class projects to make things more entertaining. We also tried to pull a grad prank that got us in Very Big Trouble. In addition to all the laughs, we can easily talk about things like our goals, values, interests, and spiritual beliefs. We usually get together once a year or so, whenever we find ourselves in the same city. We also have also very occasionally written letters. Most recently, she sent me a birthday card that she got signed by Weird Al (!).
I'm still very close with my best friend from college. We were roommates in my last year of my undergraduate degree, which was a formative time in my life. I feel incredibly safe telling her anything that is on my mind, and I think she feels the same. We talk on the phone fairly often, more or less.
In terms of Board people, Anne, Certainly and I have been friends for five years now and text each other on a fairly regular basis. She is better at keeping in contact than I am at the present, which I am grateful for because I really value her friendship. I also keep in touch a little bit with guppy of doom. I am friends with a lot of current Board writers as well, especially guppy of doom, but I suck at attending Board parties, so these friendships aren't as strong as I wish they were.
I have other friends that I keep in occasional to very infrequent contact with, including a friend from Church who I have known since I was 9, my YW president from when I was 13 who is really fun to talk to about religion and politics, a few past roommates, .
I don't know that there is really a rhyme or reason to these friendships, other than all of my friends being phenomenal human beings. I'm an extremely lucky person.
So basically I hardly ever talk to anyone from elementary school, middle school, or high school. So we'll see if that trend continues after college...
I don't think it will as much though because my college friends are awesome, and we have a lot more in common! Most of them come from my program cause we just spend basically all of our time in the engineering building. Maybe the real engineering was the friends we engineered along the way.
Other than engineering, all my friends are Boardies or relatives. I've got some pretty good naturally occurring friend groups with cousins, the Board, and my major so I don't really feel much of a need to go outside that group.
Anyways, now you know ya stalker.
My best friend [The Lioness] has been with me since I moved to Provo 8 years ago. Even though she's gone to BYU-H and we don't spend as much time together as we did in high school, she's planning an awesome bachelorette party for me, we skype when she's gone, and she's pretty much the best.
When I first moved, I was really scared I was going to be alone for a long time. I hated my parents for moving us here. But the first Sunday I went to church, she came right up to me and we literally became best friends that day. We lived through our awkward middle school years together, dealt with high school drama, and were really good at working through stuff. I think part of it was just because we were the two girls that were in the same grade at the same time in our ward, but I refuse to say there wasn't at least SOME aspect of divine intervention in that. In any case, she's funny and spunky.
Essentially, my entire friend group that I hang out with was formed this way. We were all neighbors so we were in the same home ward, we went to high school together, mutual and church together, and lived close enough that we spent all the remaining time together too. Puffer, The Lioness, Pebble's brother (who I have affectionately dubbed Cockatiel), and the OJ Princess and I all used to hang out on Puffer's lawn during the summertime and talk for hours. They planned a surprise birthday party for me one year and it was awesome. We've had a LOT of adventures.
I'm glad that I got to keep my friend group after we all graduated high school, because making new friends is hard for me, and their consistent support is something I'm incredibly grateful for.
Also, it should be noted that I was friends with Pebble before we were dating too. After Cockatiel left on his mission, Pebble took his place in the group, which is how we met. So he honestly should count too. But I digress.
Dear Please Don't,
Here is a list of many of the people I've called close friends over the years:
- Big Dipper: My longest friendship is with Big Dipper, and it began when she moved into my ward right before third grade. For those of you counting, we've been friends for about 12 years now. Unfortunately, right before high school, I moved five hours away from Big Dipper's ward, which was really rough for me. Luckily, we had a plan to room together for our freshman year at BYU, and we did. Actually, we're now rooming together for a second time. She's the greatest ever.
- Minnie Mouse: My other best friend shall be known as Minnie Mouse. When I moved right before high school, she was the first person to befriend me. Actually, I didn't have much of a choice in the matter; all of the girls her age had recently moved out of the ward, so when she found out a new girl was moving in, she messaged my mom on Facebook, and my mom set up a date for us to hang out. Yes, those first few times hanging out were exceedingly awkward. Yes, I still tease her about it. Yes, she's given me permission to share this story. Awkwardness aside, it worked out. We're still super close, although we don't see each other as much as we'd like (we have completely opposite schedules. It's actually pretty unbelievable how perfectly our schedules don't match).
- The girls on my high school dance team will always have a special place in my heart. They did a lot to form me into the person I am today. I don't see much of them since I graduated, but I love them dearly and make an effort to see at least one or two of them each time I go home. Other than that, we rarely talk outside of social media and the occasional "hey, I was thinking about you today" text.
- My roommates from my freshman year are some of my favorite people on this Earth. We were living at Heritage Halls, so there were six of us, including me and Big Dipper. It worked out really nicely in that the girls in each bedroom were friends before college, but none of the three rooms of girls knew each other before moving in. We became so close. One of them is married now (with a brand new, very cute BABY!!), two of them are on missions, and one of them has moved back home, so I don't get to see much of them, these days. But that freshman apartment really felt like a home to me, and those girls are my sisters. Love them so much.
- My FHE brothers from my freshman year also deserve a place on this list. I was good friends with them my freshman year, but I probably became even closer to them my sophomore year. They're the big brothers I never had or knew I wanted, but they have brought me a lot of joy, comfort, and laughter since I met them. They're goofs, but I love 'em.
- Now that I've been at school for a while, the vast majority of my time is spent with friends from my major. I kind of wormed my way into a friend group a couple of years ago because I needed a partner for a project. At the time, I only recognized one other person in the room, so I went over to him and just kind of implied that we were going to be partners (it worked). And then I started sitting with him and his friends, uninvited, to do homework whenever I saw them. I think they figured out that I wasn't going away, so they invited me to sit with them in class and after that we became pretty close friends. I see more of them than any other living being, including my roommates. We plan our school schedules so that we'll have class together, we study together, we have post-test emotional breakdowns together, and sometimes, when we can manage it, we do something not-school-related together. I couldn't get through my program without them. They've also introduced me to a bunch of other friends who I think are awesome, although I wouldn't exactly call many of those friends "close" just yet.
My best friend is Black Forest Cake (whom I've mentioned under that 'nym on here before--I've even reached out to her for answers). We went to Japan together this past May, and hang out every few weeks. She is absolutely fantastic and I love her. The funny thing about our friendship is that we knew each other for years before actually becoming friends. Black Forest Cake is two years my senior and moved into my home ward when I was 10 and she was 12. Our Young Women's was tiny (about 6 girls), so we saw and spent time together twice a week every week (Sundays and during the week for activities). But it was only when Black Forest Cake graduated high school and started going to school at BYU-I that we started to become friends, and then we really became friends after I graduated high school. Which is pretty strange, considering that's the opposite of what happens for most people. I guess we both needed to change and mature to be able to click.
My other good friends are people from my ACME study group. We keep in touch via a group chat on Messenger, and I've been back down to Provo to see some of them in person a couple times. We will still ask each other for advice on how to do various things, and it's great.
I wish I knew/spent more time with Board people, but suffice it to say they are amazing and I need to do a better job at reaching out (though I do see Alta regularly--and yes I consider her a very dear friend in addition to a sister).
Finally, I have to mention some of my old roommates. There are two in particular whom I adore and I'm super excited to see one of them the Sunday after Thanksgiving.
P.S. As far as your stalking purposes go, be warned: Black Forest Cake is the one who gave me my taser.
I have three really awesome friends who I reach out to semi-frequently (read: we text once a month). I met one when she moved in as my roommate, and that chance encounter led us to be roommates for nearly the entirety of my BYU career. I met my other friend through work, and she ended up helping me through the hardest time of my life when minnow and I were on a pause and I had grad school applications due. Finally, I met my last best friend in a political science class when we were put in the same study group and decided to take some other courses together. I had a lot of friends in my program and in my work, but I haven't really kept in contact with any of them, because I'm afraid I'll just be inconveniencing them and they won't want to talk with me, which is something I really need to work on.
The only HS friends I'm in touch with now are either Board writers or got into my same grad program (which is crazy, considering only 6 of us were accepted. Hawaii public schools for the win!). And of course my fellow Board writers are just the best, especially Sheebs and Tipperary, who I talk with the most.
Overall, my friends are the people around me at the moment. I've made some good friends at work here in California and, while you said it wasn't allowed, minnow really is my best friend and I talk with him all the time. Ooh and while this is probably doubly not allowed, I also consider my family members to be my friends.
-guppy of doom
In high school I was a ‘theater kid, so my close friends came from the group of people that I spent years performing with. We bonded from spending long rehearsals together and sharing a love for theater and offbeat humor. After we all separated, going different directions for college, I still see them when I go home for the holidays and enjoy their company but I do think that proximity is an important part of maintaining close friendships. Out of that group, I have 3 friends that I still text and FaceTime regularly but we aren’t involved in each other's lives. They’ll still call me with comfort and support, but we don’t have the same emotional proximity because our lives don’t intersect as much as they used to; our struggles and life goals aren’t as similar as they used to be.
Since coming to BYU, I’ve made two friends that I would consider 'close.' The first lived down the hall from me my freshman year in the dorms. We were both standing in line to get on the bus to a ward activity, I overheard her quoting a vine to someone else and instinctively I finished the rest of the quote. She heard me and asked if I wanted to sit by her group of friends on the bus, impressed by my vine-quoting ability. Over the hourlong bus ride our conversation centered around stupid things we found funny, like rating the Barbie movies on a 40-point scale. After that we just ended up spending more time together, spilling secrets in the early morning. Unfortunately, because of financial reasons she had to drop out of BYU and move back home. We now only Facetime once a month, but even that is becoming less frequent.
My second BYU friend I met in an acting class I took my freshman year. We never actually talked but I always admired how brave and talented she was in her acting. I ran into her the following semester and since we knew of each other, I stopped to say hi and was surprised by how not awkward it was. I found out later that she was having a hard time making friends just like I was, so I think we were both grateful for the connection. We ran into each other again on campus and started hanging out. She was someone I was able to talk with about bigger life questions with but she also had the weirdest sense of humor that I adored, like one time she set up a day-long Nicholas Cage movie marathon. But BYU wasn’t the right place for her, so she transferred at the beginning of this year.
Currently, I don’t really have any "close" friends but I do have a lot of casual friends or acquaintances that I enjoy spending time with. Part of that is because I have a tendency to sign up for too many things and then I don’t have a lot of time to work on my social life and take care of the relationships in my life. So. Balance is something I'm working on.
I have two or three friends that come to my mind when it comes to really close friends. But I really don't keep in touch with many of my high school friends regularly... I have about two from my junior year of high school that I try to catch up with when we go back to my hometown in California.
My first really close friend was my maid of honor at our wedding. My family moved the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. I met her at YW Camp and our first interaction was to put up some tents for the younger girls. I don't remember this, but apparently she did! I was overwhelmed learning who everyone was so camp was a blur. While we weren't super close our senior year because we lived in different cities, we became inseparable once we both went to the same YSA ward. I joke that she was the person who helped me learn to be around someone 24/7 as a missionary companion. On Friday I'd stay at her house, Saturday she'd stay at my house, and Sunday we'd carpool to church together. We did this repeatedly since my house was closer to church than hers. She did a study abroad while I went on a mission, and she wrote me constantly. It's funny since she graduated BYU by the time I got there, but we still managed to keep in touch as we both lived in Utah. We've been best friends for ten years now. She doesn't live in Utah anymore, but whenever she's in Utah we make an effort to catch up.
The second and third close friends are really similar. Both of them took genealogy and history classes with me, and our personalities seem to mesh SO well. One of them I was actually a TA for, and then she became my classmate the next semester (and the semesters after that). The third friend I met earlier in 2017 and we practically had the same schedule and we saw each other every day (sometimes we had multiple classes together the same day). We had group projects together, and would try to figure out what the professor wanted from us concerning homework assignments. The genealogy program is so small, you know everyone.
Then our last semester at BYU, all three of us had the same history class together (surprisingly unintentionally) and those two kept me sane from that awful professor (he's retired now, thankfully). We graduated and walked next to each other last April, so that was super fun. Just last weekend I was a bridesmaid for one of them, and now Carl and I have a couple to hang out with even though we no longer live in Provo, yay!!!
One of my high school friends I actually loathed because we met at cross country practice. I thought he was recording my butt when he was actually just recording practices to make an end of the season video that was actually really good. We became friends junior year of high school in our Marine Biology class as we made fun of our overweight teacher. -cough- I wasn't the best disciple of Christ back then... He went to boot camp after high school and I wrote him platonically because it was fun having a pen pal. Then 5 years later, I saw one of his Facebook posts saying he was looking for a home church. I introduced him to the missionaries and he's been taking the lessons on and off for the past two years. Since him and Carl are both Marines, they kinda bond over that.
My second high school friend I met sophomore year in my chemistry class. I thought she was SUPER annoying because she kept asking the teacher questions (but then again I didn't understand chemistry in the first place). I should have really been listening to her questions because I probably had the same questions. She also ran cross country but I didn't really hang out with her then. Junior year, I started to spend time with this Mormon lunch group where she was an 'honorary Mormon'. That's when we bonded and also did a musical together that same year. She's loud, funny, and her personality meshes so well with mine. She caught the bouquet at my reception and I love her dearly.
Then to be cheesy, my in-laws are really close friends of mine. They're so great as now I have so many brothers and sisters that are closer to my age. (I'm the youngest and my oldest sister is 12 years older than me.) Now I'm considered one of the oldest and I enjoy trying to be a good example for them. My in-laws live 10 minutes away from me and there's always something to do. Just recently I went to one of my sisters-in-law practice tumbling meets just to watch her. She's SO good at it and it's pretty impressive. Plus the Carl's Mom and step-Dad ROCK and they're pretty much the best. I couldn't have married into a better family.
I've said before that I have no friends because I just have cousins, which I guess is only partially true. My cousins probably make up about 50% of the people I would consider my close friends, and I'm defining close friends as people I would hang out with one-on-one. The other half of my close friends are either friends from childhood or college roommates.
My oldest friend and I are have known each other since we were two years old. My second oldest friend and I have known each other since fourth grade. The three of us were basically inseparable in high school, a fact which 9S and guppy can likely attest. I'm still close with both of them, but it's easier to stay in touch with the one who lives in the same apartment complex as me than the one who lives thousands of miles away. As far as why we are still friends, I'd say it's simply because we've been friends for such a long time, combined with the fact that we all come from relatively similar backgrounds.