Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. -John Barrymore
Question #44918 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I would have thought this was already answered. But I can't seem to find it, so here goes. What are your thoughts on this: Does being able to unwrap a Starburst wrapper in your mouth (or being able to tie a cherry stem in a knot in your mouth) make you a better kisser???

- Wondering

A: Dear George,

Absolutely not. I am of the opinion that a really good kiss requires much more lip action than it does licking the inside of my mouth. You want to go for lip cohesion, not flailing of the tongue. Flailing of the tongue is not attractive. Remember, "just put your lips like dees." <>

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear Wall E.

Heck no. I can't do either of those, but I'm still an amazing kisser. :P

-Polly Esther
Question #44917 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What would happen if everybody in the world all flushed their toilets at the same time?

- Lover of hypothetical situations

A: Dear Lover,

The water pressure would drop. How much and for how long would depend on the size of the community and other details specific to the municipal water system.

- Katya
Question #44916 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

A friend of mine claims that pharmaceuticals that are flushed down the toilet stay in the water system because there is no way to filter them out. So hypothetically, if someone flushed enough of, say, birth control pills, down the drain or toilet, could it affect the whole town's water supply and make an entire town infertile?

- Paranoid

A: Dear Paranoid,

First of all, your friend is only partly right. Water treatment plants are designed to treat the most common water contaminants, but may not be effective against other, rarer substances (such as drugs). However, these drugs will naturally degrade with time, so you won't have to worry about them forever.

That said, adding enough of your hypothetical drug could theoretically have an effect on their water supply, but it wouldn't make an entire town infertile. You're still talking about tiny, tiny amounts of the drug, and amounts that small wouldn't do what taking a pill normally would do. However, the minute amounts of extra hormones could possibly have small, subtle side affects. It's really hard to tell what amounts that small will do, if anything.

—Laser Jock
Question #44915 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

You know when you leave the phone off the hook, or you dial a number that's "no longer in service", that lady's voice comes on the phone and says something like "We're sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please hang up and try again. If you need help, please dial the operator."

You know the one. It's the same lady's voice for every single phone I've ever called on. For as long as I can remember (and as long as my mom can remember.) In every state I've ever been in.

So my question is, who exactly is this lady who was lucky enough to have her voice immortalized for generations upon generations of misdialers all over the country (or English-speaking world, I wouldn't know about other countries)??? Is she still alive? Is there a different immortalized lady for every language/country??

- JJ

A: Dear Jay,

I don't know about other countries, but I believe the woman you're looking for is Jane Barbe. She died in 2003. Follow the external links on her Wikipedia page for more information.

Another option is Marsha Graham, but she mostly did voice mail systems.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #44914 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I think that the two finalists on American Idol will be David and David. Who do you think it will be?


A: Dear AI,

I have to agree 100% with you. Though I must admit that things have gone less than perfectly for the last few weeks (seriously, why is Syesha still here when Brooke and Carly are gone!?), I've been pretty sure for a long time that it would come down to the two Davids.

And if there is any sense of justice in the universe, it will go to Cook, who has proven himself able to sing songs at ALL tempos, not just songs slower than 60 beats per minute.

Man, Archuleta bugs me.

A: Dear George,

I'm going to agree with you and Claudio that I'm pretty sure it will come down to the Davids. I don't have the burning hatred for Archuleta that Claudio does, but I do love me some David Cook. So, I think, really, he should win. He made Neil Diamond relevant for me, rocked out Mariah Carey, and made me drool with his rendition of Billie Jean. Now, Archuleta IS talented; I will give you that. But he just belongs on a Disney float, not as the next American Idol.

-Kicks and Giggles, who misses Brooke and Carly, and Michael Johns
A: Dear Kicks,

I never said HATE Archuleta. I just don't think he deserves to be an American Idol. The Disney Channel can have him.

A: Dear Claude,

Ok, ok, so you don't HATE him, but there is definitely no love for the cute little kid on your part.

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear AI,

The judges have been pushing the two Davids for quite some time, and the viewers seem to agree with them. I think David Archuletta was a lock for the finals from way back when he sang "Imagine," but David Cook has more consistently performed at a high level week in and week out.

-Humble Master
A: Dear AI ~

I vote for David.

That was easy.

~ Dragon Lady
Question #44913 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I know BYU made a site where you can see what ratings the teachers got because they don't want us to go to ratemyprofessors.com. Where exactly is the site?

-Just another brick in the wall-

A: Dear brick,

Check out http://studentratings.byu.edu.

Question #44910 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I really, really love Beethoven's Symphony No. 7 in A Major Op. 92: II Allegretto. I would like to buy it on iTunes. Here's the problem: I did a search and it pulled up about 70 versions of it. I want to make sure I buy the "best" recording of it, but I am having a hard time comparing the versions just by listening to them. So I guess I need advice on how to choose the best recording. Should I go by the length of the recording? The reputation of the orchestra who recorded it? The reputation of the director? In music circles, who is considered "the best"?

The popularity ranking feature pulled up a particularly vulgar recording as the most popular, so I can't trust that.

I know it seems like a fairly irrelevant question, but this is driving me nuts.

If this is impossible to answer, just make the decision for me.

Thank you,
Confused Beethoven Fan

A: Dear Confused,

I hate to break this to you, but if you can't tell the difference "just by listening to them," then it probably won't matter which one you buy! The differences you might notice would be in tempo or dynamic contrast. Most differences you'll probably only notice if you're really listening hard. However I realize this wasn't your question. The Berlin Philharmonic consistantly records top-notch music. Sir Simon Rattle is their current conductor, and I think Daniel Barenboim has done some great guest conducting with them (he's also a great pianist). If you are big into brass, the Chicago symphony won't disappoint you (or was that the Boston symphony? I can't remember). I'm always partial to the San Fransisco Symphony myself. If you're interested in individual orchestras, http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,923579,00.html looks like a good article. Another good way to get the skinny on a recording is to look at reviews on Amazon. I'll let you do that yourself. If the decision is still to difficult for you, you can probably just do with whatever the library has.

Question #44909 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the words to Richard Bona's "Dina Lam (Incantation)," what language is that and what do they mean?

- Monolingual Musician

A: Dear Monolingual,

"Most of Richard Bona's lyrics are in Douala, one of 220 Cameroonian dialects" (from here). That's one of the few clues I was able to find about this song. It sounds like it's a very rare language, which makes it much harder to find the words (let alone a translation). Perhaps one of our readers will be able to add something else.

—Laser Jock
Question #44908 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So...I am in an awkward stage of "dating" with this one guy. See, we've only gone on like 4 dates, and from what I hear, he soon wants to take this to the next level. However, I am not attracted to him in ANY way. So, I need to find a way to break it off to him before he suggests we become a couple. How should I go about doing this? Via email? Text? Because I certainly don't wanna reject him face-to-face or on the phone for that matter...oh, and what is a nice way to phrase it?

-The Hardest Thing I'll Ever Have to Do

A: Dear hardest,

You really owe it to this guy to tell him to his face, or at least on the phone. No, it won't be fun, but do you think it'll be fun for him to get a text or an e-mail instead? Believe me, it's the best way to go.

Also, you say you're not attracted to him in any way. Please tell me you at least used to be? One or two dates to see what you think is okay, but four dates with someone you aren't interested in at all is leading him on. You really need to say something before that point, even if it's hard.

The phrasing depends on your style. Here's one way you might say it when he brings it up (or sooner, even): "You know, I've had fun with you, and I like you as a friend, but I really don't see this turning into a relationship." Whatever you do, tell him straight out that you don't want to date him. Don't try to avoid him or make up excuses; that just drags things out further, and it's agonizing for him. (I've had girls do it a time or two, and I hate it.) Just let him know where he stands and be done.

—Laser Jock
Question #44907 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When will Provo decide to accept summer and stop being cold? I think we should take bets.

-May 28 for a virtual Butterfinger

A: Dear May 28,

As Laser Jock said (or, I guess, will say) in Board Question #44925, predicting the weather is beyond even our omniscience. However, May 28 sounds reasonable.

- Katya
A: Dear May ~

How are we defining cold? Well, since you didn't define it, I am going to. Cold = freezing temperatures. I'm voting for today. Because I want to plant my garden, but I can't do that if temperatures hit freezing again this season.

So, May 6 for a bowl of cherry tomatoes.

~ Dragon Lady
Question #44906 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

As one who rides a bike everywhere, I have found that winter is not much fun to ride in...I can deal with the cold and the snow, except for one thing. MY HANDS. Oh, my poor freezing hands. I typically ride downhill on 9th east on my way home from work, and I'm pretty sure I get daily frostbite by the time I get to my street. I've got some gloves that don't block the wind very well, and I've got some super-thick ski gloves that are too bulky to safely bike with.

Do they make windbreaker gloves? I really need something thin enough to maneuver my fingers, but I also need something that can block out the nasty bite of the cold wind.

-Breaking Wind

A: Dear flatulating,

Of course they make gloves for bikers! I would ask for my brother's advice on what to recommend for you, but he is currently in the MTC. I do know he likes Pearl Izumi a lot. If you can catch them during a sale on last year's models, you can get a really good deal. I found a pair of gloves for my brother at the factory store in Park City for more than 50% off. They were the kind without fingers that he had been looking for and the employee guy helping me said he (and most other people) liked the older model anyway. Most sport stores will have "biking" gloves; just ask for them.

- steen
Question #44905 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you get paid for it, is it still service?


A: Dear sasquatch,

If you get paid for it, it's not volunteer work, but it can still be service. I strongly believe that doing a paid job well is a great service to the community.

- Katya
Question #44903 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

This very well may turn into a mini rant, but I'll try to be good.

As of late I have noticed something that kind of irks or disturbs me. It deals with passed relationships. Coworkers and friends have been asked whether they actually loved werf, and more often than not they deny or seriously question if they ever did. This bothers me. Now, I will admit there is a difference between infatuation and lust and love, that's not my issue. However, it feels like these people that question or deny what they previously claimed to feel do so just because things didn't work out. It seems to me that they think that because they did not get married they really weren't in love with each other. What do you board writers think? Have you seen anything like this amongst yourselves, friends, or family? Do you agree or disagree with my sentiments?

I think the reason this disturbs me is because a plurality of the people that deny or question their former loves will turn their skepticism on me and my own experiences and relationships. Just because they question what they feel does not mean I do, and that definitely does not mean I enjoy having feelings close to my heart attacked and disregarded.

- Cupid doesn't take back his shafts

A: Dear Cupid,

"It seems to me that they think that because they did not get married they really weren't in love with each other."

Actually, I think it may be that the reason they did not get married is because they really weren't in love with each other. That, at least, has been my experience. That's not to say, however, that there aren't situations where people can be in love and still not get married, or ultimately break up for reasons not having to do with love.

I agree that it would be unfair for someone to question your affections just because they have, in retrospect, deemed theirs to be less while in a similar situation. However, your accusing them of misinterpreting or misremembering their affections would be equally unfair.


The Cleaning Lady
A: Dear Cupid

Love, and any deep emotion, is really personal. We can't judge if someone else was or was not in love, and hey, maybe they need some distance before they can say for sure themselves. Really, though, I don't see why other people's emotional states should bother you, unless you're in love with them...

-Humble Master
Question #44901 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear Guys of the 100 Hour Board,

Do you like the smell of vanilla perfume? Is there something more favorite?

- William

A: Dear William,

I like the smell of vanilla, yes. I've noticed quite a few good scents on girls, but I have a hard time (a) picking my favorite, and (b) knowing specific names; I'm sorry I can't name any other specific types I like.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear William,

See also Board Question #10513 and Board Question #26105.

- the librarian
A: Dear William

I'm generally not a fan of an smelly perfume/lotion, and vanilla is no exception.

-Humble Master
Question #44900 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who said, of those who leave the church and continue to fight against it, "they leave the church but they won't leave the church alone"? (I'm not sure that is an exact quote, but it is close.)

- Time-traveler Wanna Be.

A: Dear Wannabe,

You're thinking of a quotation from Elder Neal A. Maxwell's talk "Becometh As a Child," found in the May 1996 Ensign:
Church members will live in this wheat-and-tares situation until the Millennium. Some real tares even masquerade as wheat, including the few eager individuals who lecture the rest of us about Church doctrines in which they no longer believe. They criticize the use of Church resources to which they no longer contribute. They condescendingly seek to counsel the Brethren whom they no longer sustain. Confrontive, except of themselves, of course, they leave the Church, but they cannot leave the Church alone (Ensign, Nov. 1980, 14). Like the throng on the ramparts of the "great and spacious building," they are intensely and busily preoccupied, pointing fingers of scorn at the steadfast iron-rodders (1 Ne. 8:26–28, 33). Considering their ceaseless preoccupation, one wonders, Is there no diversionary activity available to them, especially in such a large building—like a bowling alley? Perhaps in their mockings and beneath the stir are repressed doubts of their doubts. In any case, given the perils of popularity, Brigham Young advised that this "people must be kept where the finger of scorn can be pointed at them" (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1941], 434).
He used a similar phrase in the other Ensign article referenced above, as well. I love Elder Maxwell and his expressive eloquence.

—Laser Jock
Question #44899 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I burned my tongue this morning on my Apple Cider. It still hurts. What can I do to make it better? And how can I make it better sooner when I do this in the future? (cause heaven knows I'm likely to do it again...)

- Alishka Babushka

A: Dear Alishka Babushka,

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to speed up the actual healing. Fortunately, tissue in your mouth heals very quickly. If you're just looking for things that will make it feel better temporarily, try something that could work for other minor burns—like ice. (Popsicles and ice cream are better-tasting alternatives.) Good luck feeling better!

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Gertrude,

Time for useless trivia with Kicks and Giggles!!

The tongue is the second-fastest healing part of the human body.

Stay tuned for more useless facts from Kicks and Giggles, here for your pleasure on the 100 Hour Board!

-Kicks and Giggles
Question #44898 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why are corn tortillas at the grocery store always smaller than flour tortillas?

- Pepito, who wants a big corn tortilla

A: Dear Pepsi,

According to this book, it's because when made by hand, that's about as big as you can easily flatten it in your hand. So it's part tradition. Also, the corn dough just doesn't hold together as well as the flour dough:
The dough just doesn't hold its consistency in larger sizes. If you try to slowly and carefully pat out a larger corn tortilla, even on a table or other flat surface, it tends to fall apart and develop cracks. You can sometimes do it if you're very careful and take your time, but it's difficult.
-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #44897 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Have you ever seen a fortune cookie message that actually predicted a fortune? I don't think I ever have. It seems like the ones I get are always either compliments (like "you are a giving friend") or philosophical thoughts (like "love makes the world go round").

Captain Li Shang
~~~You will eat at a Chinese restaurant after reading this question.~~~
Lucky Numbers: 25 18 38 32 23 37

A: Dear Captain Li Shang,

I've recently been considering flying courier to Asia (I've always wanted to go and probably won't always be able to go so cheaply). A few days after I started thinking about it, I got a fortune cookie that said "You will enjoy a trip to Asia." So it hasn't exactly come true (yet - it still could!) but it was a cool coincidence.

A: Dear George,

I got one last week that said "Your life will be prosperous if you use your creativity." I feel like that one is a real fortune, and actually more credible too since it gives a stipulation for the fortune to come true. Because chances are, your life really will be prosperous if you use your creativity. And if you don't, well, chances are your life will maybe be less prosperous than it could have been. Because creativity is a good thing and can serve your well.

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear,

Not a fortune cookie fortune, but several Jones Soda cap fortunes. In fact, I was a little superstitious about them for a while, and went and got myself a soda every time I had a big decision, just to see what Jones had to say about it. For a month or so, it was right on. But that time is past, I think, and I haven't had a Jones in quite a while.

-Uffish Thought
A: Dear Vince,

I had one once that said something like, "You will travel to a warm place" and a few days later I went down to St. George for something or other where, yeah, it was definitely warm.

A: Dear Captain

I remember reading an article awhile ago about the girl who writes the fortunes for the largest fortune cookie maker in the world (I looked for the article, couldn't find it, sorry). Essentially she said that she tries to avoid out-and-out predictions of events, and instead offer purposefully ambiguous statements. It sort of annoyed me, I want the predictions.

-Humble Master
Question #44896 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have a a lot of Magic, The Gathering cards, maybe a couple hundred or so. I highly doubt that I'll actually play again, due to interest and time constraints, so I would like to know if it would be better to keep the cards and wait for them to appreciate in value, or just sell them now?
Are any of you interested in purchasing Magic cards?

- Spring Cleaner

A: Dear Spring Cleaner,

If you're not going to use them again, go ahead and sell them. While they might appreciate in value, there's also a good chance they won't, and you might as well put the money towards something you'll actually enjoy or use.

- Katya
Question #44895 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

dear one hundred hour board,

i've asked this before, but it was a long time ago and there's no way the answers will be the same...

what song is in your head right now.


A: Dear lanada,

The overture from "Tales of Hoffmann" by Jacques Offenbach. (I just cataloged a libretto to another Offenbach opera.)

- Katya
A: Dear lanada,

"Mr. Sandman." Random, right? My co-worker keeps telling me all of the songs that are popping into her head, and my brain keeps picking up her songs and replaying them until she mentions a new one.

A: Dear lanada,

It's a combination of "Ball and Biscuit" by the White Stripes and "I Want Wind To Blow" by the Microphones.

My brain is kinda stereophonic.

A: Dear lanada,

"Super Mario," by Vocal Point. (This may have been influenced by watching a couple people play Super Mario Bros. last night.)

—Laser Jock
A: Dear lanada

The theme song from the 1967 Spider-Man cartoon ("Does whatever a spider can...").

-Humble Master (...Spins a web any size...)
A: Dear lanada ~

What a Wonderful World. Mostly because a piano version of it is playing on my iTunes right now.

~ Dragon Lady
Question #44876 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How did Pa Grape get so doctrinally savvy?

- my name

A: Dear my name,

Well, I'll tell you, it wasn't easy. It started with a good family that taught me about the church. I know that sounds corny but it is true. My family set the foundation because they made sure I knew the basics which allowed me, while others were struggling with some of the simple principles or premises in the gospel, to dig deeper.

A fantastic seminary teacher added to that. This seminary teacher knew her stuff and would spend hours each night preparing for the next day's lesson. She studied hard because she had to know everything she expected her students to learn and then some in case they asked questions. She taught me that when someone does have a question, it is important to make sure they get a real answer, no speculation or guesses, based on known truths. She was the best seminary teacher for which I could have asked and the fact that she was my mom also meant that she never accepted me slacking in class.

Remember that "knowing the basics" idea? That came back into play on my mission. Believe it or not, there are a number of missionaries who go out never having actually read the Book or Mormon on their own let alone being at all familiar with the Bible. So, while others played catch up or were content to tread water, I plowed ahead. I ran into a lot of vocal individuals who were against our church and it forced me to research what they contested and learn the truth behind it. For some that is testimony shaking area. For me, I found it not to be and, as I knew the church is true, I was simply finding the error in their line of logic.

I also had a great companion who enjoyed learning as much as I did. We were allowed to listen to approved music in the car and in our apartments. Instead of music, we listened to talk tapes. Everything from the standard Ed Pinegar missionary stuff to some FARMS tapes, Truman Madsen lectures, and a host of other stuff.

After the mission, I had amassed quite a collection of books on religion. We Believe by Rulon T. Burton was my favorite for straight doctrinal topics. The Foundation for Apologetics Information and Research (FAIR) has great resources for apologetics (responding to anti-Mormon criticism) and I used them, the books they suggest, and a few not on their list for apologetics.

Beyond that, I simply am not afraid to ask questions. And I had a great network to ask as well. I have a father who was a Bishop at the time and had served in a number of other callings as well. My mother, the former seminary teacher of 13 years or so who was also a temple worker, was a fantastic resource and she, like me, wasn't afraid to ask questions. On more than one occasion she would do leg work for me and corner members of her temple presidency or the temple recorder to get some serious and sometimes complex answers.

Otherwise, I just called myself. As soon as I explained who I was and why I was asking, just about every single person I talked to was thrilled to help. I can't tell you how many hours I spent on the phone with LDS church headquarters in Salt Lake talking to people in the records office, the missionary department, and a host of other areas to get answers for questions. I talked with the Provo Temple head sealer for questions, their recorder and a member of their presidency as well. That's not to mention my great bishop who humored an incredibly inquisitive ward clerk of his more times than I even care to count.

I wasn't afraid to email people who knew more than me either. I've had great email discussions with Randy Bott, Dana Pike, Susan Easton Black, and Lloyd D. Newell (all BYU religion professors) who knew answers I didn't or knew where I could find answers.

Whew... Does that answer your question? I guess what it all boils down to is a good basic knowledge and then not being afraid to ask people, and I mean any people that you need to ask, some serious questions.

Lots of love to all the readers. I miss you,
-Pa Grape
Question #44874 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear Count Rugen,

Is The Princess Bride a chick flick?

- Bonetti's Defense

A: Dear fitting, considering the rocky terrain,

It is technically a chick flick, but only under the loosest possible definition. The movie is brilliant. Action, humor, terrific acting and a great script (in fact, a quick visit to IMDB suggests that there isn't a single weak line in the whole movie)... not your typical chick flick. I prefer to think of it as a 'stealth man-movie.' It's as entertaining as Army of Darkness or Die Hard 3 or the Matrix, but with just enough love story to fool our girlfriends into liking it! Rest assured, watching it will not force a guy to hand in his manliness card.

A: Dear You must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro,

Yes, it is a chick flick, but that's not all it is. It's also an action film; and a romance; and a fairy tale. It appeals to guys, girls, and kids, and has some amazingly witty lines. And if you like the movie, you should try the book.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Bonetti

I think we can all agree that The Princess Bride does not fit any single category.

In my mind for a film to called a "chick flick" it has to consist of dominantly chick flick elements, which The Princess Bride does not. It doesn't fit any genre particularly well, because it has so many elements none is dominant. So we can say it has the elements of a chick flick film, but it also has the elements of an adventure film, a buddy comedy, a bildungsroman tale, a fantasy film, and many other genres. So no, it is not a chick flick film.

-Humble Master

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I would really appreciate the opinions of people who moved to Utah for school from Closer the the East coast, but every answer is valuable.

I'm transferring to BYU this fall and I have never lived in Utah before (the closest I've been is Olympia Washington). Right now I am trying to come up with a packing list (roughly). Do you have any suggestions as to quantities of different types of clothing. How long into the Fall semester does the weather stay warm? Is there anything you wish you had brought with you from home? If you have a packing list that you use, or have found one online that you like, please share! I've done a lot of traveling, and even a lot of moving but moving across the country alone is a little bit different.

On the same note... I have a TON of clothing (I have the ability to go two months with out re-wearing anything - this is mostly because I have been the same size for so many years now that I don't ever get rid of anything). So, I intend on donating a lot of it to the little sister hand-me down pile, and then to the goodwill. So my question is how many of each of the following do you own v. what you actually use/wear. t-shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts pairs of jeans, skirts/what ever guys where to look nice, pairs of shoes, ect..

- Webster Girl

A: Dear Webster Girl,

I'm not sure what part of the East Coast you're coming from. My answer would be different if you're from, say, New Hampshire than from South Carolina. If you're used to Northeastern winters, winters here will seem mild—less snow, and not as cold. If you're from the South, on the other hand, we do get some snow, and it gets fairly cold. In my opinion, by sometime in October it's getting chilly, and by November it's starting to get cold. Fall semester starts out somewhat-warm (80s are common, and maybe some 90s), but it doesn't stay hot all that long. If you leave after winter semester, it'll never get hot before you go. (If you stay for spring/summer, it gets rather hot.)

However, so that you can judge a bit more accurately what the temperatures are like in any given month, I found climate information from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA); it includes minimum, maximum, and average temperatures for each day, along with precipitation and other things. Provo is here (starting on page 74 of the PDF). (If you're interested in normals for other parts of the state, you can see the different regions here; the PDF I linked to was "Utah - North Central.")

On to the other parts of your question: I've never used a packing guide, per se. Mostly what I do is think of what I use on a daily (or somewhat-frequent) basis, and pack that. If you forget something, remember that you can ask your family to ship it out to you, or if it's fairly cheap you can just buy it here. You can even keep track of what you use for a week or so, and make sure to put that on your packing list.

When it comes to clothing, make sure you have enough (for both hot and cold weather) that you won't feel like you're wearing the same things all the time. Some people are fine having maybe two weeks' worth, while others prefer more; most girls seem to have a wider assortment of clothing. Pick what you can live with. Personally, I don't have an awfully huge selection of clothes compared to most people I know, and since I'm still unpacking it's hard to get an accurate count. I'd say just don't worry about what other people do; you know how much variety you need in clothing, and that's what matters the most.

—Laser Jock
Question #44870 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the story of the birds and the bees I kept hearing about in grade school but no one bothered telling me?

Moroni's biggest fan

A: Dear Missing,

Well you see, when a man and a woman really love each other, the man puts his [Edited] into the woman's [Edited] until they both [Edited], which causes the man to [Edited] and leave [Edited] in the woman's [Edited]. This [Edited] combines with the woman's [Edited] and makes a baby. It grows inside the woman's belly until it's big enough, then it comes out of the woman's [Edited] and that's where you came from.

I hope that clears things up.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #44835 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When people die in flash floods, are their bodies usually found? If not, where do they think the bodies are?


A: Dear Thumbellina,

I did a little looking around, and judging from the news I read, the majority of flash flood victims are found. Usually they're either still in the water downstream, or they wash up somewhere along the way.

—Laser Jock
Question #44823 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

This is like the previous "simersault" question. What is the origin of the word "foat"? It spawned originally as a typo of fat, if that helps.

- Amnesiac

A: Dear Amnesiac,

The only definition of "Foat" I can find is an acronym by the IEEE (originally itself an acronym for "Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers", though the organization has moved far beyond that limited scope). In that context, Foat means "Fixed Onestep Adaptive Twostep", which has something to do with a routing protocol in wireless communication. If that means anything to you, you can read more about it by searching the internet for "foat".

Question #44803 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the odds that if I buy 1 lottery ticket on April 30, 2008 in phoenix, AZ that I would win? How much money of it would I have to pay to the government for taxes?

A: Dear nobody,

See This webpage for information on your winning odds. In short, it depends on what lottery you're playing and if you're defining "win the lottery" as the grand prize or as any win. Some Arizona lotteries have win odds as good as 1:9, but that's naturally not going to be a very high-paying lottery for most winners.

As for taxes, it again depends on how much you win. Tax brackets vary with your total income. Since a low-paying win won't affect your tax bracket much, we'll assume that you're hoping to win the $175,000 5-match Powerball prize. (I'd go with the Grand Prize, but its value constantly changes.) In that case, you would be in the highest Arizona tax bracket, which is 4.54%. You'd also be in the 33% federal income tax bracket, assuming you're single. Therefore, you'd owe $6,906 to the Arizona state government and $43,501 to the U.S. government for a total of $54,321. Note that these numbers aren't simply (tax rate) x ($175,000) since tax percentages only apply to money made within that bracket. You pay less tax on your first $10,000 than on your last $10,000 as the first is made while you're in a lower tax bracket.

Remember, none of this is official legal or tax advice. Not that it matters much, as April 30 has already passed, but if you did buy a lottery ticket and you do win, please talk to a real tax professional. And your bishop.

Question #44768 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Hi! There's this phrase that I've heard in a few songs as of late and I've been wondering about its origin and what it really means. The phrase is roughly "on his face is a map of the world". 30 Seconds to Mars is one of the artists that uses this phrase in their song "From Yesterday". I heard this phrase on another song on the radio a few days ago (although the subject was female in this version of the phrase). I know they're not the first people to use it and was curious if ya'll and your resources could find the origin and meaning of this phrase.

-30StM fan

A: Dear fan,

My first thoughts, just from reading the phrase, were that it meant the person had seen a lot their time—they were careworn, experience, maybe a little beaten down. I did some searching, and I thought it was interesting that someone said their grandma had used it 50 years ago:
I remember my grandmother using it 50 years ago. It was a complimentry remark, meaning the old wrinkled face had seen and experienced years of life...every line and wrinkle was like a roadmap to a story, history, wisdom.
Someone else on that same site gave a well-thought-out opinion as well:
I believe it means a person is well-traveled or weathered, or has the potential to be well-traveled. The expression is used in two different contexts in two very different songs.

30 Seconds To Mars uses that phrase in "From Yesterday," a song that hints of a protest against the war. "On his face is a map of the world," hints at a weary soldier who has travelled far and long. Just as a map tells you where you've been, the soldier's face reflects what he's done.

KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See" is an upbeat anthem to "girl power." I think "her face is a map of the world," hints at the worldly potential that the woman has and the optimism for her future. Just as a map tells you where you're going, you can see that this woman is going places.
I also enjoyed one person's articulate expression of the meaning this phrase has to him.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear 30stm

Obviously, the phrase refers to an individual who has a scar on his face which is similar to the scar above Albus Dumbledore's left knee, however this individual's scar happens to form a map of the world, rather than the London underground.

-Humble Master
A: Dear 30StM fan,

I second Humble Master's answer.

- Niffler
Question #44689 posted on 05/06/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can you explain to me the significance of the Journal of Discourses? I was quoted a statement by Brigham Young with regard to the Civil War that read like this:

"Will the present struggle free the slave? No."

Can you explain to me the legitimacy of this quote? And if Brigham Young actually did say this, does that mean that true prophets of God can make false prophesies? more research into the matter lead me to another quote by Young that was also apparently in the Journal of Discourses.

"Who can tell us of the inhabitants of this little planet that shines on everything called the moon? ...When you inquire about the inhabitants of that sphere you find that the most learned are as ignorant in regard to them as the most ignorant of their fellows. So it is with regard to the inhabitants of the sun. Do you think it is inhabited? I rather think it is. Do you think there is any life there? No question of it; it was not made in vain."

Again, is this quote just more internet spam, or is there legitimate grounding to it? Does the church support the claim that the Sun and Moon are inhabited? Is the Journal of Discourses accepted Doctrine for the LDS church?

A: Dear Anon. ~

Ok, let's pretend that you have developed the skill of shorthand. Of course you're going to want to use it, right? So you start taking notes in every meeting you ever go to until you get so good that you can actually transcribe everything a person says. Deciding that you should share your talent with others, you start transcribing every sacrament talk, every fireside, by every bishop, stake president, missionary or even apostle that you attend. Then you compile these transcripts and publish them so that the entire world can have access to these great speeches that you heard, but they couldn't be a part of.

It's brilliant, isn't it? Except, maybe that one fireside in a rather casual setting where Elder Apostle was siding more on the side of stating opinion than official church doctrine. And of course, that one bishop kept passing along hearsay, and you weren't really sure all of it was true.

But all of this is ok, you reassure yourself. Everyone has attended Stake Conference and has heard their Stake President say things that weren't necessarily doctrine. Sure, most of it was, but opinion definitely plays a part at times. Everyone knows this. So, when you publish your book as a collection of talks gathered from various church meetings, everyone will be able to relate and understand that just because Elder Apostle said that outrageous statement over the Tabernacle pulpit, it's not necessarily doctrine. Right?

Welcome to the life of Elder George D. Watt. He was a stenographer who didn't make a whole lot of money with his skills at shorthand. Thus, he proposed a publication called the Journal of Discourses, where he would transcribe all of the discourses given by the brethren of the church, then he would publish them so that the Saints around the world could read the sayings of the brethren, even when they couldn't be there.

What transcription doesn't take into account is emotion, atmosphere, facial expressions, etc. How many times have you emailed or chatted with someone and said one thing and they interpreted something completely differently than how you intended it? Also, rarely can a person write in shorthand as quickly as a person can talk. They didn't have computers back in the day, remember. (Even then, most people can't type as fast as a person can talk.) Thus, a lot of transcription is biased greatly by what the stenographer heard or werf's choice in words in summarizing. It also assumes that everything that was said was perfectly clear and understandable. There's a lot of ifs in here, you realize.

The Journal of Discourses was never endorsed by the Church as official doctrine. The First Presidency did endorse the publication thereof, but the Church never went through and proofread everything to make sure it was completely accurate. They trusted that people would be able to read with the Spirit and judge for themselves, just as if they had been sitting in that fireside, listening to the speech.

Just because Brigham Young said something once doesn't make it a prophecy any more than Pres. Hinckley knighting Pres. Eyring in conference made him a knight nor did it even indicate that he would someday become one. Prophets are humans, too. They make mistakes, they have incorrect opinions, and they have stories that you will never hear in Conference. President Young could very easily have been stating his own personal opinion that the Civil War would not free the slaves. Nothing in his statement indicated that he was making a prophecy. In the second quote you gave us, please note one critical part, "Do you think it is inhabited? I rather think it is." (emphasis mine) Prophecies and official church doctrine do not include the phrase "I think ___" in them. They are confident and sure.

The Journal of Discourses, though a valuable resource, is not considered official church doctrine. It has never been accepted as canon, and therefore is no more doctrine than a book published by an apostle by Desert Book. Of course both have much truth and much can be learned from them, but no where does either claim to be official doctrine.

Simply put, the Journal of Discourses must be read and interpreted with the Spirit as a close companion and guide, just as any other sacrament talk or fireside you go to. Let the Spirit tell you what is truth and what is error.

~ Dragon Lady

Additional reading:
- "I Have a Question" from the August 1978 Ensign.
- Encyclopedia of Mormonism
- Wikipedia
- "Will the current struggle free the slaves" Vol 10 pg 250. Here or here.
- Living on the sun. Vol 13, pg 271. Here or here.