Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. -John Barrymore
Question #47730 posted on 09/29/2008 3:02 a.m.

Dear Aardvark et al.:

I read this* article in the New York Times this weekend, and thought it merited being an addendum to my answer about presidential smear campaigns in Board Question #47609.


* http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/26/us/politics/26ads.html?ref=politics&pagewanted=print

Question #47722 posted on 09/29/2008 3:02 a.m.

Dear The Whole Nother,

Re Board Question #47613

You can also, in this wonderful age of the internet, calculate postage directly from the USPS.com website:

You'll probably still want to go to the post office to buy some 94 cent stamps (or some 10 cent stamps you can use with 2 normal 42 cent stamps) for first-class airmail, though.

- Seoman

Question #47717 posted on 09/29/2008 3:02 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In response to Board Question #47592 you are legally required to get IRB approval when you do research with human participants whether it is for a class or not. See http://www.apa.org/ethics/code2002.html#1_06 for guidelines about doing research with human participants. In order to find a professor who would advise you on the project, I would suggest looking at the Psychology Department's website and looking at the individual professor's research interests. Find someone whose interests are close to your project and set up an appointment with them to talk about your research idea. While you may not be able to do your specific idea, you may be able to get involved in research that they are currently doing which will be close to your interests.

- Psych Grad

A: Dear me too,

Did I neglect to mention that IRB is legally required? Yes, it is, thanks for pointing that out.

-The Supershrink
Question #47670 posted on 09/29/2008 3:02 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have a really random question. How in the world does the WiFi on the public buses and trains work? It seems like it would be difficult to have internet on there, because they really are not attached to anything where a wire could be run.

A: Dear Ethel,

Simply put, it's similar to how the iPhone gets its internet without being connected to anything. They could be using an EDGE like network, or HDSPA, or another satellite uplink of some kind. They simply hook the main wireless connection into a wireless router like the Linksys WRT54G to provide wireless access to this connection. Since neither of these devices requires much power, it can be powered by the electricity generated by the alternator in the bus.

-Polly Esther
Question #47669 posted on 09/29/2008 3:02 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How much sheer force (with and without twisting) does it take to tear the tendons in an ankle?

- Twiggy

A: Dear Ethel,

The force required to tear a tendon depends on which tendon you are trying to tear and the person to whom it belongs. For Olympic sprinters, the achilles tendon (the largest and strongest tendon in the body) can sustain up to twelve times an average person's body weight before you start hitting the danger zone of tearing. The smaller tendons likewise will tear sooner. Generally a tendon can stretch an additional 4% before damage occurs and a further 8% before it breaks entirely, though the forces required, like I said, depend on size, length, and how often the tendon is exercised and used. Just to be sure you aren't prone to tearing, though, I suggest you become an Olympic sprinter.

-Polly Esther
Question #47662 posted on 09/29/2008 3:02 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

is there a way on facebook chat to appear offline but youre really online? (ex: i wanna see who's online but i dont want them to see me)

-scaredy cat

A: Dear scaredy cat,

No, unfortunately there's no option to be 'invisible' on Facebook chat. Many other chat protocols allow it, though; you may want to try using something else (like Google Chat) that does allow invisibility.

—Laser Jock
Question #47661 posted on 09/29/2008 3:02 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Does anyone know where my gallbladder is?

- Idyho Spud

A: Dear Spuds,

Probably where you left it last. Think hard. You'll remember eventually!


PS: It's number five.

A: Dear Idy,

Found it.

- Rating Pending (who wonders where you got the gall . . .)

Answer #2!

Dear Idyho,

I think it's near the appendix. So, somewhere near the end of the book probably.

- Rating Pending (who is probably a little too pleased with himself for that joke . . .)
Question #47658 posted on 09/29/2008 3:02 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Hopefully this makes sense.

Could you, theoretically, transfer to another university, keeping your credits at your previous university, and get degrees at both universities?

For example, pretend someone has 2 years of college at BYU, mostly generals. That person transfers to the U. Could that person finish their degrees at both universities with those 2 years of credits counting toward both university degrees? Of course, it would take a while...

I guess my question is, when you transfer your credits to another university, could they still count toward a degree at your previous university, or would you have to transfer back for them to count? Hopefully I explained that well enough...

- Curiosity never killed a cat

A: Dear Ethel,

When you transfer from BYU to a different school, like U of U, all of the credits you earned at BYU will forever be stored on your permanent transcript. So BYU will always have the credits you earned at BYU.

Now when you transfer your credits to the U, they'll look over the list and see if they have equivalent classes. If BYU's MATH101 class is equivalent to the U's MATH1001 class, then they'll grant you credit for MATH1001. They'll continue to do that for all the credits that you took at BYU where applicable. However, if you took a class only offered by BYU that the U doesn't have an equivalent of, then the U just ignores it so you'll end up losing some credits. The number of credits you'll be able to successfully transfer depends on which school you are coming from, where you are going, and which classes you are trying to transfer.

Usually you can get around 70-80% of your credits to transfer easily.

So if you start at BYU, transfer to the U, finish, and then transfer back to BYU, you could get two degrees, but you'll probably have to take more classes from BYU in order to fill the gaps where your classes don't mesh.

Either way, it would be a lot of work to simply get the same degree twice.

-Polly Esther
A: Dear, have you met Mr. Schrödinger?

Unfortunately, BYU's current policy is as follows:
Students who have already received a baccalaureate degree or higher from any institution, including BYU, are not eligible for admissions consideration to pursue another baccalaureate degree or major.
Sorry 'bout that.

Better to have stopped in time.(IX,2)

Question #47657 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why is there never any good mail on a Tuesday? None. It's always junk mail, and possibly a bill. I've tried sending letters on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, but it never arrives on a Tuesday. I think Tuesdays are cursed mail days. But why?

-Argyle Tuesday

A: Dear Argyle,

I got a card yesterday (Tuesday). Not only was it a card but it was a MUSICAL card with a fun and personalized message inside. Sorry, but I'd have to disagree.

A: Dear Argyle,

I'm a little confused. You write, "I've tried sending letters on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, but it never arrives on a Tuesday." Are you sending these letters yourself? Does the person you write to note the day s/he receives your letters? Perhaps your regular mail carrier takes Tuesdays off, and the substitute doesn't sort handwritten mail.

Question #47655 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What was the funnest thing you ever did for community service?

- Volunteererrer

A: Dear Volunteerer,

I once helped out at an animal shelter by giving baths to the puppies and kittens in a special sink with a special shampoo for sensitive puppy skin. It was a lot of fun, and I always left happy, and soaking wet from the water the dogs shook on me. The kittens didn't shake, they just gave me heartrending looks that seemed to say, "There has never been a creature as miserable as I. How black is your heart, that you would do this to me."

--Gray Ghost
A: Dear Heart and a Willing Mind,

Working in a kitchen at a center for senior citizens was fun. We got to cook, serve, clean, and hang out with people who could tell us stories about World War II. Furthermore, Starbucks donated pastries to the center, but they didn't fit the nutritional guidelines for the elderly, so we had to eat them instead.

Fear and Trembling
A: Dear Volunteer,

Writing for The Board!

Question #47652 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Weird Q, but you guys are used to that.

Human saliva is supposed to be good at breaking food stuffage and what-not down, yes? So, assume one was able to get a giant vat of saliva and hook it up to washing machine.

A load of dirty, nasty laundry is put into this spit-machine, and an equally dirty load is put into a normal washing machine. No soap used, which load would come out "cleaner"?

-Wicked Specs (and they are)

A: Dear Wiki,

Human saliva is indeed good at breaking (some) stuff down. Digestion begins in the mouth when you chew and grind your food and the mild enzyme concentration in your saliva begins to break down some components of that food. However, the only enzyme in your saliva is amylase, which breaks down starches (also known as polysaccharides, or linked carbohydrate molecules) into smaller components. Like all enzymes, amylase has a very specific range of action: it only works on certain chemical bonds between individual sugars and will only break those into certain smaller compounds. No amount of spit, for example, is going to burn its way, Alien-like through a door, or a wall.

If I may go Bill Nye on you for a moment, here's something fun you can try at home (that doesn't involve a vat full of saliva). Get a saltine cracker and chew it. Chew that sucker up good. Usually we don't leave food in our mouths too long before swallowing. If you chew and salivate for long enough, the salty taste of the cracker will eventually turn sweetish. That is because the amylase has gone to work and has broken down the starch from a chain of carbohydrates into individual glucose molecules, which taste sweet. Coolio.

So your original question? Unless your clothes are "dirty" because they are covered with long strands of linked, digestible glucose molecules, they are not going to get any cleaner than by just using water. In fact, since your saliva (which is mostly water) also contains mucus, proteins and some mild salts, your clothes could come out with a fine, sticky film. Yum.

- Rating Pending (who is interested in making his brights brighter, but only in terms of his intelligence)
Question #47651 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear Hobbes,

How long have you been at BYU? Also, what key life experiences have contributed to your awesome wisdom?

-Curious Fan

A: Dear Curious~

I started BYU in the Fall of 2002.

Now, before you retch, hear me out. I went and did a two-year service project for my church in New York City, and since then I've taken two semesters off to go teach English in the barbaric lands of Russia.

In other words, I'm one of those losers on the five-year plan. It becomes more pathetic when you find out I'm a Russian major, but let's focus on my awesomeness.

My wisdom comes from:
Dave Barry
Dragon Lady, Countless arguments with*
Brandon Sanderson
All my religion professors with one exception
My family
Lots and lots of "wasted" time
AND the big one... The people I talk to when I answer questions.

My philosophy is that every bit of information on Earth can be found by twisting the correct arms somewhere on campus.

So that's the secret, I'm afraid. I'm not really all that smart of wise, I just have no sense of social grace, which makes me willing to ask just about any question to just about any person.

Oh yeah, and there's the implant they put into your brain when you become a writer--the one that makes you superhuman. It's great.

*Make no mistake; Dragon Lady is absurdly intelligent and a formidable foe.

Question #47647 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Assuming the same ratio of land to water as it has now, how many times bigger would the earth have to be to be able to house all the people that have heretofore lived on it while maintaining the current level of people per square mile, and (assuming the same densities of earth and water) how much stronger would the gravitational force be (in g's) at the surface?

- A Reader

A: Dear Ethel,

The land to water ratio of earth is about 71% water and 29% land, so of the total area of the planet (200 million sq. miles) we end up with 58 million sq. miles of land.

The current ratio is roughly 112 people per sq. mile (6.6 billion people/58 million sq. miles of land).

According to wikipedia, the best total estimates of the entire population fall within 90-110 billion people. We will use 106 billion as it's the most trusted figure at the moment and wikipedia is never wrong.

So now that we have the statistics as accurately as we can get them (and if you don't like the numbers I picked, plug in your own. It's fun!), it's time for calculation:

For 106 billion people, you would need 950 million sq. miles to support them at 112 people per sq. mile.

This would lead to a total surface area of 3.3 billion sq. miles if we maintain the same land to water ratio.

Using the formula for getting the radius of a sphere from surface area, we find that the earth would have a radius of 16 thousand miles (as opposed to 4 thousand miles currently).

Now, in order to find the difference between gravitational force, we need to find the mass of our new planet. We will assume constant density of the two earths to be the same for simplicity. Currently, earth's density is 5.5153 grams per cubic centimeter.

The volume of our new earth will be 17.1 trillion cubic miles (compared to 268 billion cubic miles presently).

Using the density 2.29887732 x 10^16 grams per cubic mile, we find that the new earth would have a mass of 394.4 septillion kilograms as opposed to 5.97 septillion kilograms currently.

Using all of this, we find the acceleration at new Earth's surface to be roughly 39.7 meters per second squared. This would be approximately 4.05 g's or 4 times normal earth gravity.

-Polly Esther
Question #47645 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the maximum life span of a mosquito? I know, easy question, but for the past week, I have had exactly 1 mosquito in my car and 1 in my office. Only 1. This seems very odd to me, and although logically I don't see how it could be the same one (in each place respectivly, unless she rides on my head to and from) this seems a little much to just be a coincidence.

- Thinking about naming her Sheila.

A: Dear Thinking,

According to this site, the life span of the male mosquito is ten to twenty days. The female (the bitey kind) can live from a very non-specific three days to one hundred days. So I guess it's pretty possible it's the same mosquito you've been seeing.

Now my question to you: why the heck haven't you killed that thing yet?

Question #47640 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I saw an old question about where to find a scale on campus, but I'm pretty sure it's incorrect. Can I get an update on where I can find a scale to check my weight? I'm sure that I could prance over to the doctor's office and have it done there, but if there is a more accessible and possibly more discreet option, I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

- Anonymous

A: Dear Anonymous,

I imagine you're talking about Board Question #1183? FCSM's answer is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but she's right that you can sometimes find scales in the elevators in the Eyring Science center—the students in lower-level physics classes do a lab that uses them.

A more reliable place to look is in the weight room in the Smith Fieldhouse. There are two balances: one in kilograms, the other in pounds. I haven't paid too much attention in the locker rooms, but it wouldn't surprise me if there were a scale there for you as well. For the ultimate in accessibility and discretion, you may want to check out Wal-Mart or another local retailer.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Anonymous,

I know there's one in the office supply closet of the BYU Counseling Center in the Wilk. If you're brave and come at a slow time, one of the receptionists might let you use it.

-The Supershrink
Question #47639 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you know of any shareware, freeware, or otherwise free computer programs that help you learn to read faster?

- Flying at the speed of molasses

A: Dear Ethel,

Rocket Reader is commercial, but has a 10-day demo that you can try. You could try to get an old copy of Vortex Speed Reading from somewhere, though it won't run in Windows XP. ZAP Reader is supposed to help you find out how fast you can comprehend words. Spreeder ( http://www.spreeder.com/ ) also does that and the geeky, easily amused part of me had a lot of fun with it. Or if these don't work for you you could try some of the programs listed here (note: I have not tried any of these).

And although applications are nice, I would suggest that while reading, pay attention to the reading process. This should reduce "skip back" where you re-read the same words or sentences. Do not vocalize or subvocalize (say in your mind) the words as you read them since this severely slows you down. You should also try improving how many words you can read in a single glance. This is called "chunking". Finally, you need to concentrate on reading each chunk in a shorter amount of time. You can read more about speed reading techniques here. Hopefully the tools I listed help, they just have similar drills for improving the previously discussed areas of reading.

-Polly Esther
Question #47637 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you know if something is blocking downloads on itunes for on campus internet?

I'm trying to download a few tv shows and they're downloading at the speed of molasses. I talked to someone else who lives on campus and he said he had a similar problem

- Angry Heritage Halls Resident

A: Dear angry,

BYU campus internet does indeed block downloads on iTunes! I called a fellow named David at the IT Office and he was helpful in looking up some info for you. BYU uses a network optimization service called Packeteer to conserve bandwidth and filter content. Two main categories of throttled bandwidth include Peer-to-Peer (which includes Bittorrent, Limewire, Kazaa, Napster, etc.) and Entertainment (Video games, chat, and YouTube, which is blocked completely). For some inexplicable reason, iTunes falls under the Peer-to-Peer category. (In case you're wondering, iTunes is server-based, NOT P2P.) According to the documentation, BYU has only allocated 3 Mbps download and 8 Mbps upload bandwidth for P2P, and 3 Mbps down/4 Mbps up for entertainment. It was unclear if this refers to each section of campus or the entire campus -- either way, that's not much at all. That's why your downloads are so pokey.

A short term solution would be to try downloading your albums, podcasts, and TV shows at public WiFi spots off campus. Other than that, if you want freedom in your bandwidth you're just going to have to move off campus and get Qwest or Comcast.

If you have any questions or wish to unsuccessfully appeal their well-intentioned but faulty policy, you can call a manager at the Office of IT during business hours at 422-4000, or e-mail them at it@byu.edu. And hey, let's give our brave nerds in the IT department a big hand for being so helpful!

Question #47636 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I recently got this awesome book called "Food at the Time of the Bible." I'm a seminary teacher in AZ teaching the New Testament this year and I decided that in the spring it would be awesome to do a mutual activity where we went over the passover traditions. However, the book and other websites I've researched do not distinguish much between the modern Passover traditions and those celebrated in Christ's time. Here are the traditions I'm pretty sure were the same in Christ's time:

1. Reading the Passover story from Exodus
2. Drinking 4 glasses of wine during parts of the Passover ceremony.
3. Required to have at least 10 people at a Passover gathering.
4. Required to eat the entire Lamb at Passover, and everyone must partake at least a small amount.
5. Removing any leavened bread from the household before Passover.
6. Consuming unleavened bread at Passover.
7. Consuming bitter herbs at Passover.

Are there any other traditions I can be pretty sure that they occurred during Christ's Passover? I want to be sure to include as many aspects as I can. Thanks for being awesome!


A: Dear Arthur:

I think you will find this page to be very useful.

Question #47635 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have to design a kitchen for a "client" for school. And they have to be interesting. Any ideas who I should design for?

A: Dear kitchen designer,

I'd like you to design one for me. Then send me the sketches if you would! I'm not too picky about my kitchen but I do want granite counter tops and a double oven. Lets see what you can do!

A: Dear reader,

A paraplegic gourmet chef.

- Katya
A: Dear Ethel,

"Short people." Very, very, very "short people." How I would love to see a kitchen with tiny little features and counters that are all about 2 feet high. Only functioning...and not in pastels.

-Polly Esther
Question #47633 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board and Yellow,

Many thanks for the response to Board Question #47388. However, the link you provided only refers to Rommel's possible distant relatives, not the more specific "descendants," which is what I am seeking. His 9th cousins aren't of interest to me, but his grandchildren and great-grandchildren are. He only has one legitimate child, Manfred, and one possiblly illegitimate child, Gertrud (now deceased). While Rommel's relatives are nearly countless, his descendants are quite likely very limited in number. What information can you find out about them?

- WWII Buff

A: Dear Buffy

"Dear Yellow,

You did a good job of giving me a possible topic for my homework essay that I'm supposed to write, but you didn't write it for me. Try harder next time please! Thanks!

- WWII Buff"

While you certainly have a polite way of saying, "that wasn't nearly good enough," I think it's time for you to spread your wings and fly for yourself, little bird.


- Rating Pending (who is now curious WHY you want this information, but not enough to want you to write in about it a third time)
A: Dear WWII Buff,

What information can I find about them?

Not much, actually. I did some searching, but I couldn't even find books about his descendants. This isn't all that surprising, though, since such family history books are usually not made publicly available until the death of the people in them.

Now, I'm not saying that there's no such book out there, but I certainly wasn't able to find it. I suppose you could hire a private investigator or something if it's really that important to you, but there's not time in our 100 hour limit for such activities, so I'll have to forgo that pleasure.

Question #47631 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Bored,

What are some petty, preferably church-related, things I can be offended over (such as girls who wear flip-flops to church or people who chew gum in sacrament meeting)? I'm pretty sure I need a bigger list to help in my life-long curmudgeonly endeavors.


A: Dear Friend of the Show:

1. Girls who wear halter-top one-piece swimsuits instead of the two-strap style.
2. Caffeine. Need I say more?
3. People who impugn the sacred name of Ronald Reagan.
4. Guys who don't even necessarily wear earrings, but who even have had their ears pierced. They converted in their twenties? Too bad!
5. People who don't recognize that your spirituality pre-mission can be determined by the exoticism of said mission.
6. People who are too ignorant to know that "French fries" aren't actually French (it comes from the style in which they are cut). Puh-lease.
7. People who have lowlights that are too close to an "unnatural" shade of red, instead of a holy Titian hue.
8. People who watch Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, because that's rock music. (Not even making this one up, Chillster!)
8. Sunday School teachers who get one week out of sync in their lessons.
9. The fact that Lolita is available in the BYU library.
10. JCPenney bra ads.

A: Dear Chilly,

See also Board Question #47629.

- the librarian
A: Dear Portia,

Nice Report reference. Also, I had to look at the word exoticism for about a minute before I understood it.

Dear Chillylint,

Here are a few more things you can take from "mildly quirky/irritating" to "freakishly offensive":

11. Watching sporting events ("Superbowl! More like Super-SINFUL-Bowl!") or movies ("Anne of Green Gables! More like, "Anne of GROSTEQUE-ABUSES-OF-THE-SABBATH! Gables!"), on Sunday.
12. Wearing a colored shirt to sacrament meeting.
13. Grown men wearing cartoon-character ties.
14. The deacons not passing the sacrament to you with their right hand. (True story. I'll tell you it some time.)
15. People who stand up to bear their testimonies when it IS five minutes till, and the bishop clearly said that we would be ending at five minutes till!
16. Also, people who begin by saying, "I know our time is short . . ." but then act as if they did not, in fact, recognize the shortness of the time at all.
17. 24 hours vs. two meals. (All I'm saying is that if Jack Bauer needs 24 hours to dispatch many dozens of terrorists, then clearly, just two meals is not enough time for you to starve a blessing out of the Lord.)(Note: I don't really believe that this is how fasting works.)(Second Note: Really. I'm kidding. Don't get upset.)
18. The assumed position of gospel authority mysteriously awarded to 1) married couples and 2) couples with children ("Well, when you're married then you'll understand better about that principle of the gospel.")
19. (Being from Utah) Subscribing to the Salt Lake Tribune and not The Deseret Morning News.
20. The swarms of Cheerios that spill and scatter and then get ground into the carpet of the chapel.
21. Elder's Quorum/Relief Society teachers who only read the first page of the Joseph Smith Manual and then proceed to talk about the topic without ever looking at the actual quotes from the book.
22. Herbal tea ("The word 'tea' is RIGHT THERE in the NAME! Appearance of evil!!!")
23. Use of the starfish/footprint/old violin story in a talk/lesson/handout.

- Rating Pending (who chews gum in sacrament meeting and is not a fan when number 21 happens)
A: Dear Ethel,

24. Mothers who dress their daughters in sleeveless dresses.
25. Parents who let their kids eat Cheerios during sacrament meeting (bonus points if it's before the sacrament)(and then being offended with RP mentions Cheerios in his answer that he finished after your answer so it looks like you copied him. We aren't friends any more, dude...well, at least not today).
26. People who sit in "your" usual place in the chapel.
27. Apostles who remarry shortly after their wife (and angel mother of their 10 children!) dies.
28. Speakers that have any humor in their talk.
29. The bishop who tells you he won't pay your rent until you sell your big screen TV.
30. General Authorities who don't shake hands with everyone in the audience.
31. The prophet for not having a large enough family.

-Polly Esther
A: Dearest Chilly,

I've only got a couple more to add:

People who wear pants on Sunday (before or after church)

Hiking/enjoying Nature on the Sabbath (this, of course, includes Sunday Picnics).

A: Azriel-

I am doing my best to avoid giving offense (as per your suggestion) by not wearing pants at all on Sundays. Or any other day, for that matter.

Question #47630 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

At BYU's library, is there a way to contact them so that I can request a book that they currently do not carry?

Your Mom

A: Dear My Mom Doesn't Read the Board,

You can fill out their Suggest a Book form here.

- Katya the librarian
Question #47629 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Lately on campus I've been seeing a lot of immodestly dressed girls. I thought BYU was supposed to enforce modesty but it seems as though the teachers don't care. Is there someone who I can contact about the situation regarding modesty? It's quite annoying...

Your Mom

A: Dear annoyed:

Though I am less than convinced it is your place to say, you can tactfully approach the professor in a shared class, even more tactfully approach the women in question, or take a general complaint to the Honor Code Office (fourth floor of the Wilk) if you think there are enough egregious violations. I think a specific report would be rather low of you (the Honor Code office can be quite a beast, apparently), and besides, if you don't know these women, I don't know how you'd do that.

Trust me, professors are well aware of the standards, and these situations are often sensitive, and may involve people who aren't members of the LDS church. It's unlikely that one will publicly lash out at them, so you will be denied that joy, I'm afraid.

A: Dear Hot Momma,

Why not write a letter to the Daily Universe? That usually seems to solve the problem.


- Furious George
A: Dear Your Mom~

We must hang out in different parts of campus. You're not at the RB pool, are you?

Okay, but seriously, you could take it to the HCO, but the most effective method is likely to write that letter. (And think about how effective that would be.)

Question #47628 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who are the new members of Divine Comedy, and when is their next show? And is Matt Meese gracing us with his presence this year in DC?

- A lady in love with Matt Meese from afar

A: Dear,

Since you're such a fan, I let young Mr. Meese answer this one himself.

We have four new members this year. And they are, in no particular order (except maybe tallest to shortest): Gregory Schulz, Jason Komm, Jeremy Warner, and the lovely Whitney Call. Our first show will be on October 17th and 18th in the Varsity Theater (Tickets will be available at the Wilk info desk the week of the show as usual). As for returning cast members, we have: Nick Stentzel, Sarah Kelley, Mary Hedengren, Scott Fleming, Matt Meese, and Natalie Thomas (who would like to take this opportunity to say that she feels Matt is severely overrated). And may I just say thank you "lady from afar". May you forever catch all the candy and glowsticks that your heart desires.

--Matt Meese
Awesome. I'll see you at the show, reader. And all you other readers. Assuming we go to the same ones. But it sounds like they're going to be rocking, so I'll definitely be at one of them.

-Uffish Thought
Question #47626 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What exactly is the "Utah Mormon" stereotype? I was born and raised here, and I have never eaten jello salad with carrots or ratted my hair a foot above my head. What is characteristic of these "suspicious" Utah Mormons, and how can I avoid this "terrifying" transformation (or, do I even want to . . .)?

- One who grew up hearing that "This IS the Place"

A: Dear One~

Sadly, overuse of quotation marks is not a Utah Mormon stereotype.

Some of the stereotypes about us are essentially true, and some are based in fantasy. Since you're from here, you should be able to sort fact from fiction.

The ones I'm aware of:

Lack of testimony or shallow testimony
Lack of experience with an imaginary place called The Real World, usually defined as anywhere outside of Utah or "wherever I'm from".
Dogmatic adherence to non-doctrines or semi-doctrines like caffeine or playing video games on Sunday
Bad driving skills
A unique lexicon "Oh, flip/fetch!" "Oh my heck!" etc.
JELL-O consumption, esp. green JELL-O and JELL-O with all sorts of things in it
Blind Republican loyalty
Weird names for children
Large families
Young married couples
Skewed idea of the concept of Zion (re: xenophobia)

Those are the only ones I can think of at the moment. I'm sure some other writers will jump in here, too, and most tragically of all, I'm sure a lot of the people reading this will think that these are all accurate descriptions of Utah Mormons.

As for how to avoid this terrifying transformation: Just go ahead and be you. For some reason, there's a fair amount of intense bigotry against Utah from many members of the Church, and there's irritatingly little you can do about it. Have a nice life, and leave the narrow-minded to their own devices. That's the best advice I can think of.

Question #47625 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have noticed that there is a constant high pitched ringing that can be heard on most of BYU's campus and I was wondering - where is it coming from or what is making it?

(Just to make sure, I have asked my wife and a friend of mine and they heard it as well)

Thank you!!

- Annoyed BYU Student

A: Dear Annoyed,

I seriously don't know what you're talking about, but maybe too many concerts have handicapped me in this aspect. If it's in the library, it's probably those 3M security machines. Anywhere else, it's probably the fluorescent lights. If it's outside, it might be a problem with the PA speakers (you know, the ones that play the national anthem, non-Radiohead style). So if you could write back with what parts of "most of BYU's campus" you meant, we might be better able to answer your question.

-wet blanket

PS There is also a slim possibility that you, your wife, and your friend are suffering from tinnitus or maybe mass hysteria. Are you all under a lot of stress?
Question #47623 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

It's my understanding that calcium inhibits the body from absorbing iron. True? If so, how long should I wait after ingesting calcium to ingest iron so that my body actually absorbs it?

- Beezy

A: Dear Ethel,

Yes, calcium does inhibit iron absorption. As always, it’s better to get the nutrients from foods rather than supplements, so for the best absorption, just don’t have them at the same meal.

If you are getting your iron from a supplement, probably the easiest thing would be to take one at night and one in the morning. Iron is best absorbed on an empty stomach; however, people usually have fewer side-effects if they take iron with a meal (nausea, cramps, etc).

If it’s a calcium supplement, well, there are two major forms of calcium supplement. Calcium carbonate is best absorbed with a meal. Calcium citrate is fine with or without food.

-Polly Esther
Question #47622 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Another traveling-by-plane question. I've heard cautions about taking camera film through airport x-ray machines. Are there any special considerations for digital cameras? Will my memory card get wiped clean? Should I back up before leaving?

~ Nervous Nelly

A: Dear Ethel,

Your memory card should be fine. I've brought my camera and laptop through TSA security and have had them x-rayed multiple, multiple times without data failure. Though backing up is never a bad idea because sometimes you could be letting a friend use your camera and they could accidentally hit the "reformat" button instead of the "delete picture" button. Those are sad times.

-Polly Esther
Question #47621 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In two weeks I'll be on a plane for eight hours. (If it makes a difference, the flight is entirely within the US.) Since I don't think my latchhook tool would pass security, what activities can you think of to keep myself occupied? All I can come up with is reading and sleeping.

~ Nervous Nelly

A: Dear Ethel,

A list of permitted and prohibited items can be found http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm#2. As you can see, knitting and crocheting needles are allowed, so I imagine latch hook would be as well, but you could call the airport ahead of time just to make sure if you want.

As for other activities, You could bring your laptop or a mini DVD player to watch movies on. An MP3 player to listen to music. You can also talk to your neighbors as well, depending on how brave you are and how much they're willing to participate.

From the link above I was able to get a start on ideas of other things you can do: paint your nails (and you can remove the nail polish as well. To you heart's content! Though I am willing to bet someone will complain about the smell), clip your nails (this may affect the willingness of your seatmate to be cordial to you), color, do origami, or write love-poetry on the back of the airplane napkins. Though I am of the belief that the best way to pass a flight is by sleeping.

-Polly Esther
A: Dear Nervous Nelly~

The Bourne trilogy by Robert Ludlum.
Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson, also consider Elantris.
Anything by Terry Pratchett.
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer. You'll likely need a couple books to fill eight hours.

Question #47611 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm a female BYU student returning after a four year hiatus. I'm a bit worried about the roommate situation. In the past I always lived with people I knew and I'm a pretty shy person (I'm not trying to use that as a crutch, I'm just stating the fact).

Now I'm returning and everyone I know has been married so it's just me on my own. Any suggestions for finding good roommates who aren't all giddy 19 year olds?


A: Dear Ethyl,

Generally, the farther you live from campus, the older the tenants will be (or at least the more of them will have cars). The area I live in now, the ghetto south side of campus, is an exception to this aphorism. My ward has a good number of young (18-19) and old (25+) members (if you want to know specifics of my whereabouts you'll have to e-mail me). Personally, I think that your age will be more of an issue the more you make it one. Yes, you will probably have roommates that are younger and less mature than you are, but perhaps you could take this opportunity to seek depth in an advanced teenager? But seriously, I'm barely in my twenties and I have no problem making friends with people five or ten years older than me. Don't worry about it too much, and good luck.

Question #47594 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I was reading some excellent archive answers about why songs get stuck in our heads, and as I've noticed that things like words and phrases also get stuck in my head sometimes, I'm wondering if there's anything else that our brains can't stop repeating?


A: Dear Complex,

I am not at all surprised to learn that things like staging directions (for plays), dance routines and choreography, sports plays and gymnastic and diving moves also get stuck in peoples heads. I have had experience with some of these, but not all of them. (And not simultaneously. I believe my head would explode several times over.).

- Rating Pending (who has Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now!" stuck in his head. "That's why they call me Mr. Farenheit!")
A: Dear fatuglyperson,

All sorts of things can get "stuck" in one's head: dance positions, finger movements for playing a musical instrument, the significant glance of a friend, a scarring scene of destruction, obsessive thoughts of cleanliness or revenge, and so on. I'd be surprised if you could find something that couldn't get stuck in one's head.

-The Supershrink

P.S. See this BBC news article for some interesting information about how songs (and other things) can get stuck in our heads!
Question #47584 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In Matthew 26:24 it says that it would be better if Judas had never been born. But the crucifixion was necessary, and it seems as if the betrayal by Judas is one of the steps that led to the crucifixion. If he hadn't betrayed Christ, someone else probably would have, and then it would be better that that person had never been born. It seems kind of harsh to say that it would be better that Judas was never born, if it was by his betrayal that the crucifixion occurred. It seems like his betrayal was part of the plan. Is it because he was of such high station - within the 12?

- doesn't get it.

A: Dear doesn't get it,

It seems like his betrayal was part of the plan.

Judas Iscariot's betrayal of Christ may have been part of the plan. Christ prophesied it would happen. That does NOT, however, mean that it was divine will that Judas lose his soul. From the beginning, God saw that Judas would betray Jesus. It's impossible to grasp with our little minds, but He sees all things at once. Judas had his agency, and God knew how he would choose. If no one had betrayed Christ, He still would have been crucified eventually. It's important to remember that Judas's betrayal was just that: a betrayal. There was no divinity in it, it was his choice. President George Q. Cannon said:
"It was not foreordained that Judas should be a devil. He chose that part himself, in the exercise of his agency."
The seminary manual has a great exercise that might help you.
Look at Matthew 26:14-16, 20-25, 45-56 and describe the times when you think Judas had the opportunity to choose not to betray the Savior but instead chose to continue to serve the devil, who was tempting him.

It seems kind of harsh to say that it would be better that Judas was never born...Is it because he was of such high station - within the 12?

Absolutely it was because he was part of the Twelve. I think the statement that it would have better that he were never born indicates the severity of his sin, and is not harsh or overstating. Remember, Peter denied Christ three times that same week, but the same is not said about him. Judas took thirty pieces of silver and handed Christ over to His death. Even worse, Judas went to the chief priests on his own and asked them what they would give him if he delivered Christ to them. He was intentionally calculating and manipulative (and this is not the first time we see him falter in his duties because of money). He handed over perfect innocence to be killed. In doing so he completely betrayed his calling as an Apostle of the Lord, which is a surefire way to lose your soul. President Monson said this in a talk called "Finishers Needed" in 1989:
So it was with Judas Iscariot. He commenced his ministry as an Apostle of the Lord. He ended it a traitor. For thirty paltry pieces of silver, he sold his soul. At last, realizing the enormity of his sin, Judas, to his patrons and temptors, cried out: “I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood.” (Matt. 27:4.) Remorse led to despair, despair to madness, and madness to suicide. He had succeeded in betraying the Christ. He had failed to finish the apostolic ministry to which he had been divinely called.
Failing to finish your apostolic ministry and divine calling because of greed is a big deal. Judas's choices denied himself the chance of being exalted. He lost his soul. That's not to say that he is a son of perdition, because he did not have the priesthood or the Gift of the Holy Ghost, but he cannot be exalted and thus has died spiritually. In that light and knowing that he can't ever make it back, you can see how perhaps it was better for him that he was never born. He condemned himself with his life.

I hope that helps.

Question #47577 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm a singer/songwriter that's much less of a singer than a songwriter. What are some good resources for learning how to sing properly? I realize private lessons are best, but I'm a poor college kid, so I'm thinking more like books, videos, online resources, etc. Thanks!

- Nobody's Little Weasel

A: Dear . . . Ah, Okay:

I would suggest taking a class like Music 111R: I know I'm more motivated by an actual class, and the only extra fee above tuition for a class like this is a small accompanist's fee.

A: Dear Nobody's,

Entering "How to sing" on YouTube presents a number of promising results. There is a fairly basic wikiHow and other sites about singing. Reading will only get you so far. I recommend watching videos of singers that you want to imitate (singing live), and watching how they breathe and what they do with their mouth. Some things are just easier to learn through imitation and private coaching, and I think singing is one of them. Perhaps a talented roommate could assist you? Best of luck.

Question #47566 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

• I’m graduating as an RN in December (wahoo!) and plan on working here in Provo for awhile while my husband finishes school. I found out today that every beginning nurse at the hospital I hope to work at must work every other Sunday (I suspect this is the same for most hospitals in Utah if not everywhere). I’m a little worried about this. I don’t want to miss church and though I know I’m doing it for a good cause (i.e. saving lives, helping those who can’t help themselves, providing a basic community need), this doesn’t lessen my sadness. The sacrament is given at the hospital which is nice. Any suggestions of what I can do to receive the spiritual boost of attending church while working on Sundays so often?

- SN

A: Dear SN,

Whenever I have to miss church due to being sick or whatnot, I'll always listen to LDS music and listen to church talks. You could download talks in MP3 format from the BYU speeches website and put them on a CD. Maybe you'd have the time/opportunity to listen to them? Or you could print them off in PDF format and read them in your spare time.

Another thing that you could do is to have a "review" of church with your husband when you get home. Maybe he would be willing to outline and discuss with you some of the topics that were talked about at church.

Unfortunately it is sometimes necessary to miss church. But you can still have that spiritual boost every Sunday! I think that more than anything it is your frame of mind on Sunday that determines how you will feel and what you will think.

A: Dear SN,

Along with Krishna's suggestions, maybe make an extra effort to serve others at work? Can you hum hymns at work or is that against the law or something? You also might want to read some articles from the Ensign when you get home or review what lessons you would have had at church.

Question #47562 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So I was pleasantly surprised to find some free music mp3 downloads at the Church's website here:


And I downloaded the music files and love them. However, there's something weird about a couple of them now that I've put them in my iTunes.

"To This End Was I Born" is listed in iTunes as being 20:49 in length, but it actually only plays for 2:47. Similarly, the "Ensign to the Nations" theme is listed as 27:33 but is actually only 3:44 long.

1. Why does it do this?
2. How do I fix it?

- confused and befuddled

A: Dear c&d,

I downloaded the songs you mentioned and got the same results; in iTunes and foobar2000 the songs had the wrong lengths, while in Windows Media Player they were correct.

I did some searching, and it looks like the VBR headers in the songs aren't being read properly. VBR stands for variable bit rate; it allows a song to be encoded using different bit rates for different passages, depending on the level of detail needed. (For instance, silence would be recorded at a low bit rate, while louder, detailed portions of the song would get bumped up to a higher bit rate than usual.) The VBR headers have some information about the song, like its length.

There are a few programs out there that can fix the problem for you. One I'd recommend is foobar2000. It's a high-quality, lightweight music player. It's small, fast, and very customizable, which has made it fairly popular. It even supports managing iPods, via an add-on called foo_dop. You might give it a try and see what you think. (A heads-up: it comes totally stripped down, and you can add skins, etc. to match your preferences.) It's only a 2.7 MB download, too. (I'm seriously considering ditching iTunes altogether because it's getting so bloated [especially with 8.0], so I've been looking at alternatives lately. Foobar2000 is looking the best right now.)

Anyway, the point of all this was that foobar2000 also has a nifty feature to fix the VBR headers. Open the songs, select them, and right click on them; in the menu that appears, go to Utils -> Fix VBR MP3 Header, and you're done. It worked perfectly for me. Enjoy the free music! I gave it a listen, and I agree—it's pretty good. Thanks for passing on the find.

—Laser Jock
Question #47541 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The other night a friend and me were by the lake on one of the paths outside the fence. It was chilly, but when the path came under a canopy of trees it was significantly warmer. Is this because the overhanging trees act as a type of greenhouse to prevent the heat from escaping?

- Nanti-SARRMM

A: Dear Nanti-SARRMM,

Pretty much. Air heated by the earth rises, (as hot air is wont to do,) but is trapped by the trees and stays close to the earth. Over time, this causes the air under the canopy to heat up. This moderated temperature also encourages growth, which is why the ground cover of such areas tends to flourish.

Question #47535 posted on 09/29/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What kind of tree is the large, green tree that grows by the Brimhall Building on campus and bears marble-sized, red fruit?

And should I be worried that I ate two of those small red fruits earlier today?

- Kaitlyn

A: Dear Kaitlyn,

Oh you mean the ol' diarrhea tree? Yeah, good luck with that.

- Furious George
A: Dear Mrs. Drull,

Crataegus spp.

Sometimes I feel like I am the only person on earth who remembers about the Tree Tour page. Also, hooray look. No need to worry about eating the fruit. But I don't recommend eating unwashed fruits, ever. So.